i, Everyone! I know that I have been very horrible about keeping up with this blog lately. I have been working nonstop and quite frankly, I don’t share the things that aren’t working and I have had a few weeks of things not working. I take solace in the fact that feelings, both good and bad are a big part of the human experience.
I won’t go into details, but I have been playing the wrong loops. I am aware of what is going on and have tried to take a step back and observe those feelings instead of being consumed. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I have looked at triggers that I have. One of them is a big white spot where my landlord (before I moved in) had taken down his mounted television and patched it up thinking that we were going to paint the living room. I liked the living room color and never painted leaving this big white spot on the wall that my ex and I kept a beautiful picture that a friend brought us from Egypt. My ex took said picture, and I had nothing that would cover this up. With the budget being as tight as it has been, I haven’t been able to do anything about this constant reminder of lack. Add on top of that the fact I lost all of my holiday decorations in a flood and a general feeling of loneliness that can come along on the first holiday without a partner it was getting overwhelming.
I finally got to take action, though. This past pay period I had a little cash and decided to go get a television mount, picked up a shower
curtain I have been eyeing and had one of my pictures framed for the walls. You would be surprised at how that little bit of change can be so good for the soul.
At both jobs, things are well but last night we had a space that anyone in customer services knows well. One of our team members had a family emergency and had to leave just before a huge rush that inevitably leads to someone’s order being messed up at the wrong moment who gets so mad he throws food at you and threatens to blow up your store. (Dude, we flavored your crust not kidnapped your puppy.) Just when I was about to go in the walk in and scream, Butterfly walked in. She was a cool, calm drink of water in the style of a 1960’s beat poet and instantly I saw the error in my mindset.
I was brought right back to Abraham-Hick’s story of blue glass and butterflies and I had to step back and laugh. The rest of the night from then on remained busy, but it was put into a much better context with me saying, “And then Butterfly walked in.”
So my friends, I again say to you, live your life looking for butterflies instead of bombs.
You Are Loved!