There are many people that believe there are only two true emotions, love and fear. We are all designed to love yet it is fear that holds us back. I find this true in many profound ways from how I look at myself, to how I operate in my day to day life.
Personally, I fear that I am not good enough. I am not worthy. It is strange to see that in writing and I am not fishing for compliments, just trying to be honest with myself. In the end, it is the lies we tell ourselves that are the most damaging. I have been working very hard on removing the bad programming, yet it keeps coming back these little snippets of conversations with this person or that person or even just me.
It is rarely ever, “You are not worthy.”
For me it comes out as, “This isn’t done,” or “This goal is stupid,” or “No one cares about this,” or “You can’t afford that.”
The damaging mind chatter is an attack on my very existence and, just as I would if there was a physical attack I pull out all the tools in my arsenal. First of all, I disconnect from social media and put down my phone. Many of my insecurities happen because I spend way too much time on there and think that people are seeing what I post. This just isn’t true. Only 30% of the people on your friends list ever see anything you post. So when someone that isn’t very close to you (or even someone that is) says that they had no idea…well they probably didn’t. That is not your fault.
I find that doing something in the real world like housework, yard work, cooking dinner, watching a movie, and dancing around helps. The biggest weapon I have in my arsenal is a soak in the tub. I go into the tub with the intention that I will not get out till I find better thoughts.
The truth is that I am fully capable of doing anything I put my mind to. I am enough just as I am. Things are happening as they should and I may not have any clue why this or that happened. I also cannot take things personally. Just because someone hasn’t heard of or doesn’t like a project that I am doing doesn’t mean that they don’t like me.
In the end it comes down to focus. I can find reasons that every bit of the mind chatter is true but what is also true is that I am a spark of the Infinite and I have 37 years of proving that everything works out for me in the end. It’s a proccess…
So my dear readers, what lies do you tell yourself and what do you do to remember the truth?
You are loved!